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Ten Reasons Why Hong Kong Movies
Are Better Than Star Wars
- Jackie Chan rides bicycles up walls and under doors in Project A, live on film.
Return of the Jedi runs a few badly blue-screened speeder bike models into fake
trees.
- Unlike Darth Vader, Lord Conquer (Sonny Chiba) in The Storm Riders can throttle
people from a distance, has more than one sword in his scabbard, and does not suffer from
a breathing defect.
- The music from Once Upon a Time in China is stirring, dramatic, unforgettable,
and was not ripped off from Holst's "The Planets".
- Zu Warriors of Magic Mountain is full of fascinating characters, incredible
fights, amazing set-pieces and unmatched energy - but does not ever pause to sell soft
toys, Lego, action figures, computer games, breakfast cereal or collectible Big Head Coke
Cups from McDonalds.
- Tze Mui in My Father is a Hero is cuter than an ewok, but can also whip a dozen
of his classmates into submission armed only with a burning love for his parents and a
rolled-up towel.
- Jet Li in Fong Sai Yuk is engaging, romantic, funny, caring, athletic
and dramatic. The less said about Mark Hammil, the better.
- Return of the Jedi puts Carrie Fisher into leather and makes her a slave. Heroic
Trio puts Michelle Yeoh, Anita Mui and Maggie Cheung into leather and makes them kick
ass.
- Tsui Hark has told dozens of memorable stories in the last twenty years. George Lucas is
still pedalling out the same one. And Hark has a cooler beard.
- Brigitte Lin as The Bride With White Hair. Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia.
Brigitte Lin. Carrie Fisher. Brigitte Lin. Carrie Fisher. Let's leave it there, shall we?
- At the end of Empire Strikes Back, Luke loses his hand, but has a droid-built
replacement by the start of the next movie with which to grip his fabbo lightsabre (TM).
In The Blade, Chiu Man-Cheuk loses his whole ARM twenty minutes in, but retrains
himself to fight one-handed with his father's broken sword from a martial arts book with
missing pages.
So in summary: I'm not queuing, I'm not going, and I don't care.
Want More?
Try Ten More Reasons Why Hong Kong Movies Are Better Than
Star Wars by Alison Jobling.
H E R O I C * C I N E M A
http://www.heroic-cinema.com
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