Blog Archives

Honesty (2003)

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I respect Wong Jing. He has given me memories that, for better or worse, I know I will carry with me FOREVER. Jet Li’s cock-fu in Last Hero in China. Chow Yun-fat threatening to “cut it off” in God of Gamblers. Jacky Cheung at the urinal in High Risk. The missing penis in Naked Killer. Actually, all of Naked Killer.

All that said, I have absolutely no respect for either the quality or the quantity … (read more)

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The Spy Dad (2003)

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I want to begin by pointing out that, were Project: Sex With Jordan Chan any higher on my personal agenda, I would probably enjoyed Spy Dad a whole lot more. But it’s not, so I didn’t. Don’t get me wrong. This isn’t because I’m a redblooded Australian male with a complete intolerance of any and all homosexual practice — it’s just that I don’t find Jordan Chan — or Jordan Chan’s naked backside, which also features in this film — … (read more)

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Moving Targets (2004)

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Moving Targets delivers on the promise of its title: it keeps moving, and hits most targets. This pot-boiling, lead-slinging, father-hating police yarn is based on the legendary 1980s TVB series Police Cadet (which, Ching Yee informs me, is where Tony Leung Chiu Wai and Lau Ching Wan became stars). I can’t speak for how faithful the adaptation is, but that would explain why the movie feels like it is cranking many hours of plot into 90 blink-and-miss-it minutes.

Fer instance: … (read more)

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My Schoolmate the Barbarian (2000)

There are times when you need some mindless entertainment to help you shed the worries of the day. This is just such entertainment, from the master of mindless entertainment, Wong Jing, although this time it’s one for the girls. Within the first five minutes we see Nic Tse with his shirt ripped and his hair falling over his eyes, in a variety of heroic poses of which Wong Fei Hung would be proud.

A lot of people disparage Wong Jing, … (read more)

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A True Mob Story (1998)

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This one plays like a Chinese Goodfellas. Andy Lau is a small time mobster who goes ape with a cleaver one night to rescue his boss Prince from rival triad Crazy Ball and his gang. As a consequence he is promoted way beyond his station and his courage. Gigi Leung is the lawyer who represents him when he gets into hot water, much to the consternation of her special agent boyfriend. Andy is just trying to get by, but … (read more)

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High Risk (1995)

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Wong Jing launches a not-thinly-veiled-at-all satiric broadside at Jackie Chan in this amusing action movie. Frankie (Jacky Cheung) is a womanising alcoholic action superstar who no longer does his own stunts; Kit (Jet Li) is a member of his stunt team, and habitually takes the fall for him. Kit is also an ex-cop; he left the force after he failed to save his wife, child and a busload of schoolchildren from a mad bomber. Lo and behold, the self-same mad … (read more)

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Conman (1998)

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Someone apparently thought that spraying Andy Lau’s hair silver would make him look old. Sorry, matey, but it just ain’t workin’. Lau Tak Wah looks totally delectable as ever, and just a smidge more elegant with a silver coiffure, if such is possible. And although the annoyingly wide-eyed Athena Chu scoffs at one point “You shouldn’t smoke too much. You’re getting old”, our Andy still retains sufficient sex appeal to engage Athena’s character in one of the better love scenes … (read more)

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