Chinatown Video releases for January 1999
Weasel Alert: I assisted with the
liner notes for this month's release of The Storm Riders.
THE STORM RIDERS (1998) Rated MA. 124
mins. Rental only.
The Storm Riders was the smash hit of the Hong Kong box office in the Summer of 1998,
and signals the triumphant rebirth of the Hong Kong fantasy film. Director Andrew
Lau blends state-of-the-art digital effects with the whirlwind pacing typical of
Hong Kong cinema, with an all-star cast of 1998's hottest Hong Kong actors. Adapted from a
best-selling comic, the story follows Lord Conquer (veteran Japanese actor Sonny
Chiba) and his disciples Wind (Dior Cheng) and Cloud (Aaron
Kwok). A love triangle between the pair and Conquer's daughter Charity (Kristy
Yeung) rips the kingdom apart. It just might rip your VCR apart too! Check my full review, but believe me, you wanna see this one.
MILLIONAIRE'S EXPRESS (1986) Rated M.
98 mins. $29.95.
Hoo boy, it's another Chinese Western. I love these. I think we're somewhere near the
Sino-Soviet border this time. It's more than a western, it's more like a kooky Murder
on the Orient Express, except that all the passengers are samurai and secret agents
and gangsters and li'l kung fu tykes and stuff. They're all bound for a little backwater
town where Cheng (Sammo Hung) is a mayor with a can-do attitude - he
thinks nothing of derailing the train if it'll bring a little more business into the local
hotel. The scene is set for all-star comic hijinx and martial arts frenzy. You've got Yuen
Biao as a noble security chief, Eric Tsang as an ignoble
ex-security chief (who uses the defence "Not guilty - we're morons"), Cynthia
Rothrock riding into town with a bunch of robbers, and more. You've got your
exciting fire-fighting scenes, your exciting samurai sword scenes, your hilarious bedroom
farce scenes, your guys falling off things stunts - it's packed to the gills with
1980s-style Hong Kong entertainment. Everyone pitched in to help Sammo
make a great movie, and the result is a great rolling dust cloud of fun. At one stage one
character admonishes the others "Remember, avoid all monkey business", but
happily it's monkey business from start to finish.
SATAN RETURNS (1995) Rated MA. 90 mins.
$29.95.
Well, you might like it, but I thought this was mighty disappointing. The word
is that Satan is on the rise again, and that he's sent his only daughter to Hong Kong.
There's two ways to find out if the Devil's yer dad: (1) have the birthdate 6/6/69, (2)
you won't die if your living heart is ripped out. Chingamy Yau qualifies
on (1), but is understandably not keen about (2), and so spends the film trying to avoid
taking the test. Donnie Yen is Alchemist, the driven cop who's trying to
save Chingamy's heart (for purely platonic reasons). Alchemist - what a
name - probably Al to his friends, except that it's clear he doesn't have any. Anyway,
this should be great fun, but it's not - the dialogue is stupid, the exposition laughable,
the plot misogynistic, the acting barely sentient, the comedy flat and the tension
non-existent. Oi. But, there are some good action scenes, and in particular the final
fight (Donnie Yen plus chainsaw vs. zombie cops!) and villain despatch
are terrific. It's a shame about the 88 mins it takes to get there.
POLICE STORY (1986) Rated M. $29.95.
Dubbed and Subbed editions.
POLICE STORY 2 (1988) Rated M. $29.95. Dubbed and
Subbed editions.
New releases of classic Jackie Chan actioners.
