Review: The White Dragon (2004)

Directed by:
Cast: ,

Not available in Australia on DVD (to our knowledge)

White Dragon holds promising individual components, but implements them in such an ordinary way that the result is tragedy, of the unintentional kind.

Cecilia Cheung stars, returning to the petulant drama queen role she tends to fall back on regularly to pay the bills. Her character Hei Fung (aka Little White Dragon) is an immature self-centred brat who obviously grows up a little over the course of the film by coming into contact with Francis Ng’s Chicken Feathers, the tragically noble blind assassin. Chicken Feather’s attraction stems from White Dragon’s musical ability (which is about as convincing as a sub par Boy band) and is actualised by the corniest Morris dancing impression ever filmed, something originally thought impossible from the likes of Francis Ng. Since this is essentially the central premise for the story, what intimate moments exist are constantly overshadowed by the constant stream of ham.

It is impossible to take this film seriously in any manner. Tolerance levels are pushed beyond the medically recommended level, as the tired jokes are prone to leave the audience groaning in pain. Numbness quickly sets in as a survival instinct.

If you’re willing to put up with a film with no real foundation at all or like your films smoked and well cured, then perhaps White Dragon may be your thing. It may even be a decent date movie – assuming you’re not spending your time actually watching the film.

3 Silly Modern References out of 10.
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