Review: The Seventh Curse (1986)

Directed by:
Cast: , ,

Not available in Australia on DVD (to our knowledge)

This may be the stupidest film I’ve ever seen; I loved it.

It’s a pulp adventure barely starring Chow Yun-fat as the hero Wisely; 90% of the film follows the exploits of his doctor/explorer/martial artist friend Dr Yuan (Chin Siu Ho), who’s a man with a problem: when he’s about to have sex, he’s smitten with a damn unsatisfying Thai curse which makes bullets burst from his body. That’s gotta cramp anyone’s style.

The only way to solve the matter is to go back to Thailand, where the good doctor tangles with mad witch doctors, beautiful natives, a pesky reporter (Maggie Cheung), an evil flying foetus monster and a shuffling skeleton called Old Ancestor who inexplicably transforms into a H.R. Gigeresque man in a rubber suit when the pressure is on. As you do.

Typical plot exposition, Seventh Curse style:

“Doctor, we must climb up,” says noble savage, indicating enormous statue.

“Good thing I went on that expedition to the Himalayas last year” says the good doc, reaching for the first hand-hold.

Like I say, very stupid, but irresistibly so, and with not one dull spot. Check this one out without fail, preferably in company so that you can splutter “Did you see THAT!” to the person next to you while sneezing Coca-Cola up your nose.

7 Curses out of 10.
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